You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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