she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
