Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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