I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
last night I used snow as a chaser
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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