dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm always down for nudity.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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