Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize