Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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