Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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