Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
