i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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