You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just want nice things and good sex
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
