Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
