Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
too bad you live with your parents still
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
