That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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