i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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