DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
