as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize