Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
