Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
