Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
