Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
