I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
