it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
