How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
