have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
