just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
