i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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