Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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