i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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