I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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