i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
