I skipped work to stalk him.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize