How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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