I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
