She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
its liver damage thursday
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
