is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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