quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
