So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
