Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
