mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You can't just leave with hair like that
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
