he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize