I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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