I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
