We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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