so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
