Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
