i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
