I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
