Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
A bitchslap is in order.
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