i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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