why didn't you poke me back
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
