I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
