if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
