She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
this just has baby written all over it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
