I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
