someone threw a dead crab at me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
