I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
