You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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