You smell like stripper and shame
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize