In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
