I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
