you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
