I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
