I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
