I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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