yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize