We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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