do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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