I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
