East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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