There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
